It can be incredibly frustrating to feel like you are not being heard, particularly when that person is important to you. This may possibly cause problems in the end. Oftentimes, men may not realize that they are being hurtful by not listening to their girlfriends. If you feel like your words are falling on deaf ears, here are some tips to get your boyfriend to listen to you.
Choose the Right Place
Talk to your boyfriend in a quiet, calm environment. If there are loud distractions such as kids playing or the television going, it is more difficult to listen. If you are looking to have a particularly serious conversation, make sure it is in an environment that is free of distractions. By that, you can share your feelings to him without being disturbed.
Know Your Points
Focus your thoughts. Take time to prepare for the conversation. If you think you need to write it down then do it. This preparation will help you to make your points effectively and efficiently. If you meander around the point, your boyfriend may get distracted, lose interest or find your words hard to follow. Being clear and being specific is the key to make your conversation successful.
Control your Emotions
Speak logically and sensibly. Sometimes, when we are upset, our emotions get the better of us. This results in others feeling threatened and defensive. Try to remain in control of your feelings and do not lose your temper. If you are out of control, your boyfriend will be less likely to really listen. Show him that you can handle your emotions, just breathe deeply and count before start the talking for warm up purposes.
Let him Know Your Feelings
Express how you feel. Rather than playing the blame game or complaining about his actions, instead talk about how you feel. Oftentimes, it is hard to see how our actions affect others. If you are hurt by something he has done, let him know. Do not make him resolve the puzzle because most of the guys do not have patience in puzzle. Have an intelligent conversation rather than simply barking out a litany of complaints about him.
Recognize his Feelings
Ask questions. When you engage him in the conversation, he will listen much more. Even if you are upset, resist the urge to rant. Remember, you want to have a conversation with him, not just talk at him.
Make suggestions for solutions
It can be very discouraging to hear complaints with possible solutions. If you have an issue with something, express how you feel and then discuss possible solutions to fix the problem. Be positive and use constructive criticism. Moreover, steer very clear of insults.
Be an active listener
If you want to be heard, you need to spend time listening as well. If you do not listen to your boyfriend, he will not be motivated to listen to you. Acknowledge his feelings and thoughts before you lay into your own.